Friday, March 2, 2012

The elephant in the room...


Thank goodness for Dr. Seuss, because today 
I'm going to apply one of my favorite quotes he gave to us: 

“Be who you are and say what you feel 
because those who mind don't matter 
and those who matter don't mind.”

Warning This post is not typical of my blog, which is usually filled with creativity from my kitchen or family events.  This post is something I've been thinking about and includes some tasteful creativity I've been exercising in the "bedroom".  Again, I feel it's done in a tasteful way and please note, I don't want to make anyone out there who follows this blog, uncomfortable.
 I believe strongly, physical intimacy in marriage is of utmost importance in the unique way you connect and show your love.
 Feel free to skip this post, if you are going to be critical 
that I'm speaking about this sensitive subject.

SO...who would have thought that putting a photo of a book I purchased on my blog and using the words "sexual fun" would have caused such a stir. (here)
I can't believe the private emails and phone calls I got concerning the post I did with
 positive feedback and some people even hoping I would do a book review of the book.

Anywho, so I'm going to be brave and address
 "The elephant in the room",
the human need that is up there with food, air and water on our hierarchy of needs...sex

You don't have to worry, I definitely won't be giving TMI but just posting fun things I'm learning as Tracy and I enjoy the book I purchased.

Hopefully, this will inspire all of you to break out of the ordinary
and AMAZE your hubby with some excitement and fun in your sex life.

Let's face it...sometimes life gets busy and hectic and even though we are madly, passionately in love with our husbands, things like sex can sometimes become "routine", sometimes it may even feel like a chore.

Like anything, if you don't keep your sex life alive, it dwindles and dies.  I for one, hope to be having sexual fun with my hubby when we are old... even if we have to get really creative to make it happen.  I want to have that twinkle and spark that makes us seem like newlyweds long after our golden anniversary has passed.
I love the movie "Cocoon" and how swimming in the pool with the alien cocoons, gets all of the elderly people (Wilford Brimley, Jessica Tandy, etc...) feeling mighty "sparky".

My hubby and I thought our sex life was great, I mean, there usually wasn't a month that went by that we weren't enjoying intimacy several times a week, but many times it was late at night, or early in the morning before work and things were definitely routine...mostly in our bed...we've now realized the corner of our sectional is pretty amazing for having sexual fun as well as the hardwood floor in-front of our parlor stove (so long as we are absolutely certain the kiddos are deep in slumber-land)!
Were it not for this book, we would still be doing the same old thing we have been for the past many years.)
 A little bit of background...
I have always been a hopeless romantic...
(here is a quote from my "Kimmie's List" that I posted in 2009

"...I very much am a HOPELESS Romantic! I love Romance and Love and I'm passionate about keeping the SPARK alive in our marriage. The first year we were married I bought a book “Have a Love Affair with your Husband” and I am always reading books to find out FUN ways to keep marriage EXCITING!! (My favorite books for this are: ”Light his Fire” and “How can we light a fire when the kids are driving us crazy”!)"

I have even have a board on my 
Pinterest wall entitled "Romance"

Since it's the dark, dreary cold winter
and we haven't been motivated to wake up early and embrace the dark, cold mornings on SUNDAY, with a morning walk,
instead we wake up, get our book, prop up our pillows and get all cozy and then we browse through the book and each pick our week's assignment.
We don't go in order...
we just look at the title and find one that interests us.

Here is how the book works:
 There are 50 assignments labeled "for his eyes only" and 
50 assignments labeled "for her eyes only" 
(and one that you do together 
when all of the assignments have been completed...

The pages are labeled to give you an idea of what the assignment might involve with icons.
(about half of them cost money, but even the ones that say they'll cost money, sometimes don't, if you have things around your house)
$ means it will cost 10-20 dollars
car symbol means you'll be going for a drive
sunshine means you should plan your seduction during the summer
knife/fork indicate a meal is involved
envelope symbol means there is an e-card created for the seduction that you will email
mouse symbol means a special e-tease has been created for the seduction that will get emailed
$$ means it will cost 30-60 dollars
$$$ means it will cost 65-100 dollars
$(with a circle around it) means it will cost over $100

What I love most about this book...
 you are guaranteed to have 2 days of your week
where you're connecting sexually with your spouse
AND the neat thing about it, is you are both putting forth effort, 
making your assignment FUN and exciting.
We haven't had an assignment yet where we truly haven't enjoyed the night to the fullest!
OH, and many of the assignments are things we have never tried,
OR, would have never thought of ourselves!

SO, here goes my first impressions 
of a few of the book's assignments:
I didn't realize all of the BOTTLES of grape juice
 that I bottled up last fall, would be enjoyed on our weekly seductions, but some inexpensive toasting glasses and homemade grape juice are refreshing and add to the FUN of  the night.
 It's like you have your own thing that you 
only enjoy with each other and no-one else!

 The first one I chose was #83
 which was called "Skinny Dip"
(it had an e-tease that went with it).

This seduction was really fun as it involved
a romantic bathroom and was kind of a "spa treatment" for men...
(something my manly man would NEVER do for himself, 
which is what makes this so fun)

I bought LED candles and placed them all over the bathroom to create a romantic atmosphere.
I purchased a pink tray from the dollar store that had all of the things needed for the bath and placed it near the tub (it also held our toasting glasses and grape juice).
I filled the tub with the perfect temperature of water and added in some "Relaxation Essential Oil" (that I purchased at our local health store).
I also bought pink travel containers and
filled them up with shampoo and conditioner and also purchased some "Loofahs".

This was fun as your beau gets to enjoy 
a relaxing bath after a long days work.
You sit on the edge of the tub and wash his hair
(what made this easy was having a pitcher nearby that you fill with warm water to rinse the shampoo out)
You then get in and massage his feet, etc....really make him feel special and pamper him while the stress from his work day melts away.
Make sure you have toasting glasses filled with COLD refreshment of some kind to sip while you're enjoying your bath...
The most important part of this is WARM towels
 that you put in the dryer before you start your fun.
Obviously the bath can go however you would like it to, but, it ends with you getting out and then you run and grab the WARM towels and hand them to your beau when he is ready to get out.
WOW, I didn't realize how NICE warm towels are and how they really add to the romance of the evening.
Obviously, one thing will lead to another and
you will definitely have an ENJOYABLE evening together.

The 2nd seduction I picked was #88 
"Pandora's Box".
This seduction required filling a pretty box with all kinds of SOFT things and tying a bow with a note "Touch...but don't look"
that you have lying around the house for a few days.
It really piques the curiosity of your beau
as he wonders what in the world is in that box.

The box is full of things like a silk scarf, chiffon scarf, feathered boa, piece of lambs wool (or fake fur), powder puff, make up brush, cotton balls, small stuffed animal, feather duster, and whatever other SOFT things you can find around the house.
This seduction requires that you blind-fold your beau and he is lying there in nothing but his birthday suit and you tickle him from head to toe with each item in the box and he tries to guess each item. This seduction really makes you realize the POWER of touch and how much that means in a relationship. PLUS, it is enough to drive him crazy and your night will definitely end in LOTS of fun!

 The 3rd seduction I chose was #13 
"Million Dollar View".

This required a SHORT skirt 
(you can just imagine what other items you wear 
or don't wear with your short skirt) 
(BTW...I had this skirt as part of a swim suit cover up when we went on a cruise a few years ago)

The most fun part of all, was the suggestion to purchase some RED light bulbs to put in your light fixtures of the room you were going to be enjoying the seduction in.
The red light puts off just enough light that you can see, but doesn't hurt your eyes.   
I'm still amazed about the great ambiance they provided and they were only $5.00 each.
 BTW...you can purchase these in the light bulb section of most stores). 
I'm definitely stocking up on these light bulbs 
as we are hooked on MOOD LIGHT!

(love these butterfly lights that I purchased to string on the curtain rod spanning the curtains...)

The 4th seduction I chose was #100 
"Gates of Heaven".
WOW, is all I can say about this...
truly the most passionate and romantic night we have ever had in our whole marriage!
 
It required that you find every mirror you could find in your house and put  them all over your bedroom so that anywhere you looked you could see your reflections. 
It also required one full length mirror and setting the mood with candles all over the room.
I pulled mirrors off of walls and even pulled the sliding mirror off the closet of my boys room.

 Tracy and I still reminisce on this amazing night 
where the mood was PERFECT!

I replaced the bulbs in our lamps with the red lights,
had 15 LED candles all over the room,
had a string of butterfly lights
and the ceiling light on DIM.
I also put the heater in the room and had it warm up the room
about an hour before our FUN, so the temperature was PERFECT as well.

Here are the photos from this night...


As you can see adding romance to life is FUN and SIMPLE...

The fun of these seductions is "breaking out of the norm", trying new things
and the most important thing of all is the message it sends to your spouse,
you are willing to put forth extra effort in this area.
It makes your spouse feel really valued
and that this unique aspect of marriage is a priority to you!

(if anyone wants more details about anything, I would be happy to answer any questions you may have...feel free to email me at: kimberlysmiles@gmail.com...
there's no subject I'm afraid to address when I'm not public on my blog)

(OR, better yet, purchase a book
 Your hubby with LOVE you for it!!!!!!!!!!)

SO, get some candles,
maybe purchase some "COLORED light bulbs"
fill a box with SOFT things,
put together a "sexy" outfit,
have a romantic bath together,
whatever you do, it is sure to add SPARK
 to your marriage and help you keep your romance alive and well!

Until next time when I give 
my thoughts on my book assignments...
Happy ROMANCE, LOVE
 and SPARK to all of you!

4 comments:

Alene said...

I love this post and I also realize how similar you and I are. I'm so sorry we don't live closer.

Connie said...

Kimmie,
I had Andy read this while the Mormon Channel was playing in the background. (great music for this post, btw) ;) Anyway, when Andy finished reading, he smiled and said, "So, I wonder what Tracy's assignments are!"

Candace said...

I also wondered about Tracy's assignments????...can he be a guest blogger????? Another great post. And that pig figurine is hilarious. Where did you find such a thing???

Kimmie said...

Hi Candace,
Tracy bought the "Kissing Pigs" AND Love Potion card for me when he went on a business trip to Denver, Colorado, when Jade was just a baby. I just LOVE them and always have them displayed somewhere!

I asked Tracy if he would do a guest post...maybe in another month...OR, maybe, I'll type together his thoughts and just email it to you. Some things are pretty out there and I'm not sure if I want to post them on my blog.

I'm glad you read the post...hopefully, it was a fun read for you and gave you some fun ideas! (hope that was what you were looking for in a 'book review'.